My love for you is ticking clock... Berzerker!

(Click the 2 pics.... it's worth it)


Good news bitches, Yes oh yes, Kevin Smith is back in full force. No, not the "Jersey Girl" Kevin Smith, but the "Clerks" Kevin Smith. What do I mean? Well remember when he said Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back would be the last movie with those two characters? Well he lied. Because here comes Clerks II baby!

Oh it's true.... it's true. Here's Kevin Smith talking about it: Oh, it's Damn true

Also in that last link, you see Kev make reference to the Clerks Animated Series also having a movie. To that, I give you this:

In celebration, you can all post your favorite lines from the movie in the comments box. Today is a good day, hoes and manwhores... a very good day.

8:58 PM - "Missy Elliot looks like King Louie from the 'Jungle Book' "

So Blue Balls errrrrr... I mean Blue Eagle 3 and I decided to sit down and watch the MTV VMA's last night. Bad Idea.... here are some observations.

8:09 PM - You found out on the red carpet, that Miami is everyone's second home. At that point, I really wish MTV had panned just two blocks from the arena and showed the ghetto that surrounds it. "There's one of the millions of bums who lives right here next to the arena"and "This is where you pay a bum to watch your parked car or else it'll be stolen" Oh yeah.... real fuckin nice. Miami is officially the most overrated city in the world.

8:43 PM - Jay-Z wins his third award for "99 Problems". No hating from us.... good deal

8:58 PM - Missy Elliot looks like King Louie from the "Jungle Book"

9:01 PM - R.I.P. "Yeaaaaah" December 2003 - August 2004

9:02 PM - Is Usher going for the Marvin Gaye look or what? Tool


9:03 PM - R.I.P. "Whhhaaaaaaaat?" February 2004 - August 2004

9:15 PM - Find me the person who approves those Virgin Mobile commercials with the people singning to each other. They need to be Donkey Punched by some huge 6'7" black dude.

9:16 PM - Dave Chappelle is finally on. A good joke about the Cubes in Miami... again "Whhhaaaaaaat" died people. Please stop kicking it while it's down.

9:20 PM - Yes (shaking my head in disgust), that was Vivica A. Fox with the Ying Yang Twins.

9:24 PM - R.I.P to doing the "The Rock-away" May 2004 - August 2004

9:34 PM - This show sucked, and we couldn't take this shit anymore.... Click

10:00 PM - "Entourage" started... NICE!

Speaking of which, Entourage is my new favorite HBO show. Why? Because of "Ari" the agent has got to be the biggest hater I've seen. Watch it, you'll see. Definitely worth the time.

Ok, ya bastards.... Like my cock in a girl's locker room, I'm out!

As R. Kelly once said... "This is a Warning"

How bout Doc didn't choose 88 mile per hour, douche. Those were the calculations of how long it would take for the plutonium to have its effect on the flux capacitor, therefore provididng the 1.21 gigawatts of power needed to induce time travel.

Any question? I've got draft four of the script if you wanna test the knowledge, youngn.

You still a rookie, so I'ma let it slide.... but do not fuck with the DPJ's favorites. That would be Back to the Future, Biggie, and Peanut Butter and Syrup sandwiches. I paid the cost to be the boss....Recognize!

I like my dolphins well done....

ayi ayi ayi....so if Anna Nicole got on that Trimspa she lost all that weight...then why does E! still show the Anna Nicole show when she's a friggin' cow? Are they part of a "keep anna skinny" plan? Do they make her watch the show whenever she wants a Checkers 99ç (thats the closest to a cent symbol i could get) or something? Is E! really running that low on shows that they have to show those reruns...ayi ayi

Which brings me to the next topic...why did the DeLorean have to travel at 88mph to travel back to the future? I mean...why 88? was that Doc's favorite number....i mean..even in the 80's that wasnt fast and how much did the tires cost for that damn car? It would be a new tire change every damn trip....I'd be pissed if Marty was running around fucking around my wheels if I was doc.....

i'll finish my rant later...im drunk

I've never heard of 40 million people wanting to watch a horse race...but they would the EAGLE!

Yo yo check it! I's the new fandango in this here blog...biotch...respek. So, this is the world famous, grammy winning, oscar award winning, critically acclaimed....thats right you guessed it...Blue Eagle 3!!! ( you can all breathe now)

I've been drafted to complete the trio...the Donkey, Dragon and now Eagle.

On another note to all our reader...(all 3 of us that post) DO NOT EAT PEANUT BUTTER AND SYRUP SANDWICHES

The Bronze!

What are you talkin about man? We won the friggin Bronze! That's right the bronze!
The various alloys of copper and tin rolled into one magnificent 3rd place prize. Who needs white players? We've got black players playing for that metallic circle of moderate yellow and olive tan color. Do you see white anywhere in that description? Go USA!

Friggin Manu Ginobli...

How the fuck did we lose? I mean we invented this game, its our game and we fucking lost to a bunch of cro-magnum looking mother fuckers with uni-brows. Holy shit! I thought black guys were supposed to be good at basketball, shit they play all the time, and we lost to a team with all WHITE guys! Not even white guys from America but from Argentina. Are you kidding me, Argentina! Goddammit I'm so angry that we lost. At least fucking Marbury started to look like himself because I was not looking forward going into a season with Marbury looking as the second coming as Scott Brooks.

Well, now that I got that shit off my chest its time for some fucking hate.

I hate fucking Euro's with patruting foreheads and bad B.O. These fuckers would have no chance beating us if we had some crackers on the team.

I hate fucking squares beacuse they need to learn fucking ENGLISH.

I hate Janet Jackson because if her chocolate tittie didn't come sneaking out, our freedom of speech would still be here.

And finally the most hated thing of the week...... Bush(Not a whore's hairy box) because he's a douche bag that fucked this country up. So vote Kerry bitches and boys.

HATE HATE HATE HATE

Can't wait for NBA Live 2005

that game is going to be pimp. Slam Dunk Contest and everything. EA Sports presents... NBA LIVE 2005


Anyway, the real reason I'm posting today is to say this: This is Why I Love Isiah Thomas

Here's an excerpt:
"Stephon Marbury was hoping for a sympathetic ear when he called his boss, Isiah Thomas, on Monday to talk about his struggles at the Olympics. What Marbury received instead was a heavy dose of reality. "Man, I feel like I'm playing like ---," Marbury told the Knicks' president. "No, you are playing like ---," Thomas fired back. "You're not playing like Stephon Marbury. Don't forget who you are. You're a 20-point, nine assists guy."

For five games, Marbury had been humbled by Carlos Arroyo, Shane Heal and Sarunas Jasikevicius and admitted he was having trouble adjusting to Larry Brown's ways. But after Marbury used the team's off day on Monday to refine his shooting and followed it up with a stern consultation with Thomas, the Coney Island point guard responded with the most prolific-scoring game in U.S. Olympic basketball history. Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson and Shaquille O'Neal included."


And THAT is why he will make my Knicks better. Let's Go Knicks baby!

(Don't hate, FUCKERS)

Oh no he didn't!

So let's set the record straight. That powder scent douche nozzle, White Dragon, begged to be here. And he fuckin LOVES it here. Loves it the way he loves the cock. Just trust me on that one. What you don't think so? Well here's what he looks like: White Dragon

So yeah... Let's see, would I rather drink like a man, get wasted, and bang some dirty little Asian girl, or should I get drunk looking like Teck $ in Van Wilder, sucking on some Penis Pump. What Queers!

You guys wanna know what that "RUBBER DUCKIE" clip from the Howard Stern show is? Here it is... That would have definitely been a good time for a white dragon.

I hate traffic by the way. All these fuckin freshman think they need to drive on campus, even though they live a block away. Nice. Way to congest shit up. It took me 45 minutes to go 5 miles home after class yesterday.

Ok, so Lebron not only goes by "King" James (ughhhhhhhhhh), but now he even has his own Powerade Flavor? Link
It probably tastes like the sweat on his balls, since everyone's on his dick so much. I really hate him. Gimme John Starks any day.

Oh guess what? The Mets traded away top pitching prospect Scott Kazmir for an injured player. Kazmir has since made his Major League debut and pitched 5 shutout innings. I will now light myself on fire.

I hate how much MTV pimps itself. It's not enough to have commercials all day about the VMA's, but to dedicate the whole week to it? Jeezus. By the way? Is Dave Chappelle hosting that thing or what? I can't get a straight answer. If you know leave a comment.

Ok, I'm out!

Whatcha gonna do about it?

Listen up fuckers! Donkey Puncher J asked for some reinforcements to make this blog shit funny, so I'm here to save his sorry ass. I'm White Dragon and for all of you cum twats out there White Dragon is when a bitch is done sucking on your donger and you blow your load down her throat. Then when she is not on your dick anymore you karate chop that whore right in the back of the neck, makin it come out her nose like a dragon’s flame… hence the white dragon. Oh yea and make sure you say “Hiya” when you do it.

Well, now that I have introduced myself to all of you its time for some fucking hate.
now here is a list of things that i hate and every week I'm gonna put more shit that i hate so here goes:

I hate fucking tall T's and fucko's that wear them especially white guys they all look like midgets.

I hate white guys that talk black and dress like fucking wigers, they need to look in the mirror and see that they are WHITE. And white is all right to me.

I hate Donkey Puncher J because he sounds like a fucking moron the way he writes this shitty website. Learn how to write you uneducated bastard.

And the most hated thing of the week is Dan Marino just because he is a fuck stick.
I'm out for now bitches and boys
HATE HATE HATE HATE

You a hot 16... I'm a very great song

Don't get it twisted people, I'm still a hater, but I've always given my boy Pastor Betha the benefit of the doubt. However, Dipset crew ain't feelin him sayin they ran his ass out of harlem. That's up to you to decide, but I think Dipset are a bunch of pussy-ass closet fags. They like Pink for Christ's sake! Here's a Mase interview where Jim Jones and Camron call in like douche monkeys: Mase on Hot97

FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE: Britney Spears Clone (Don't forget to thank your friendly D-Puncher in the comment box)

Hey Now... new slut alert!

Ok, so here's the deal. I'm away on vacation for a week and wasn't planning on posting anything for the time being. But I ran across something quite interesting and I thought you might want to know. The fem that's now on my good side is Ashlee Simpson.


These are lyrics from Ashlee Simpson's song entitled "La La" (Or "She Likes the Milky Sauce" as I like to call it: "Lyrics"

Here's the chorus:
"Ya make me wanna' la la
In the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your frenchmaid
Well I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
Scream..."

Holy shit is all I can say. She just moved up a notch in my book, which I guess puts her in Notch 1. But it's still a notch up. and I would definitely give her a nice DP. (DP = Donkey Punch, for the uninitiated)

I've got Family in high places, like Jesus' Niece

All right people.... this is how it's gonna go. I'm Donkey Puncher J and I'm your host in this place we call the Fine Print. Why am I called Donkey Puncher J? Because punching a bitch after I'd done tearin up her ass, just to make it tighter, gives me pleasure. Why? Because I'm a friggin hater. And that's what this is all about.... hating on the things that have come across my view recently. If you don't like it.... you can get the fuck out.


So here's the my first entry covering this week from 08/01 - 08/06


I know I must sound like a bitch watching Big Brother 5... but the 4 horsemen got fucked big time. Scott is gone, and I'm sure they all wished they had voted out Adria instead of Holly. Wow... Jase is one confused individual, but the only entertaining dude left. They're all idiots though. If you have no clue what I'm talking about.... go here: Big Brother 5


I might get killed for this, but I have a sneaking suspicion Gigli is not a bad movie. I have to rent it to find out, but seriosuly... has anyone seen the damn thing? With all the Bennifer bashing that was going on, I think everyone decided to pull a Donkey Puncher J and hate for no reason. Here's the plot summary: Gigli
J-Lo as a lesbo? That's gotta be worth it... I'll have to let you know next week.


Kanye West is an asshole! Not because he's obviously let fame get to his head (watch the Punk'd episode he was on... what a bitch!) but because he performs his first single from his next album, pre-titled "Late Registration", at all his shows. He then tells you it won't come out for another year and a half. What a friggin cock teaser! Have a taste of cocktease here: Live in Amsterdam


So my boy Dave Chappelle just inked a $50 million deal with Comedy Central for two more years of Chappelle's show. They realize he only makes 13 shows a year right? He's funny as hell, but $50 mil? For 26 shows? Nigga needs to be on all year for that shit. Plus dude charges $125k per stand up appearance! "They shoulda never gave you niggas money!"


Whatever happened to that movie, Envy, with Ben Stiller and Jack Black? It came out and went away before you could blink. Looks like it went the route of Cable Guy according to these internet losers: IMDB
I guess we'll have to wait an find out. Speaking of which... Cable Guy is so much funnier now, I will never understand why Jim Carrey got so much shit for it.


Ownage of the Month: Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto! (1.8 MB)
It's a lil old... but it's Ownage nonetheless.


All right... that's all I got for now. Now go home and put some water in Buc Nasty's mama's bowl.