Sunday, October 31, 2004

A bowl a day, keeps hunger away...




So once wasn't enough. Here comes Carlito's Way: The Prequel! While I love that Luis Guzman is back... too bad there's no Vigo Mortenson. He had the best line ever... "I can't walk, I can't hump. Go ahead and kill me you cocksaaacker!"


Halloween Costumes:
So let's see how retarded each of us look. (This is payback for you two bitches never posting)

Donkey Puncher J - This costume sucks (Not my fault... I had all of 5 minutes to get ready)
Blue Eagle - Wow (I don't even have a comment. There's too many jokes...)
White Dragon - Awww, how cute (Yep... he's 22 and that's really what he looks like)


Ok... moving on....
I am so wrong for linking to this...


If anyone you know actually tunes in to this... Smack 'em.

Can Real World focus anymore on the gay dudes? Jeezus Christ... they wonder why this is the lowest rated Real World yet.

With his bare hands? With his bare hands? This guy's Nuckin Futs!
and from the same site... What the hell does Batman have to do with parental rights?


And finally, aren't late-night local commercials the best? Some guy goes on TV ranting and raving about his store. Well I love it... and so I leave you with one of my favorites: Somehow he educates you while he's selling! (Click the picture)



Thursday, October 28, 2004

Congrats Red Sox... but this is an homage to the MVP

Team? What Team? Manny knows it was all him.
- Doing everything yourself is the only way, my man. LOL




<---- Audio of Manny accepting the MVP (Funny shit)


I Am So Proud of Him (Video)

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

"We're Brothers... We're Happy and We're Singing and We're Colored"





With White Chicks coming out today, I decided to do you all a friggin service and show you the only scenes that are good. Now you won't have to waste your money on it. Here is the one good scene.


The funniest part of this Usher story has got to be that "Waterfalls" by TLC was playing in the background. What can I say... nigga remembered everything I taught him about a menage.


Goddamnit... my newest slut (remember my 2nd post?) got busted on SNL. I wish I had watched. Muahahhaahaha


The Award for Most Unrealistic Role Ever goes to this guy.


Wyclef Jean is a fuckin idiot.


First "Lean Back" got old... then radio played it out... then white folks killed the song. Now Red Sox fans have have taken the song from its grave, and performed necrophilic acts on it. Disgusting, I tell ya.


Wyclef Jean, I'm sorry. You've been outdone, now you're just an idiot. These guys are the fuckin idiots.


All right.... I'm out like the greasy hair escaping from Pedro's baseball cap.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

"Maybe I should rob somebody... then we can be like Whitney and Bobby"




Man I used to love these commercials: Terry's World & Draft Day (The Pain Train's coming baby!)

Rented SNL - Best of Tracy Morgan this past weekend. For a guy who was never really in any sketches, it's actually pretty funny. The highlight... has to be The Adventures of Astronaut Jones. It quite possibly has the greatest sketch theme song ever... watch it... trust me.

So the infamous Bangbus, Fathers of 8th Street Latinas and Captain Stabbin, are apparently perverted assholes. What a shocker! Next thing you know someone's gonna tell me that Arod is a homo! (Thanx Pickin Boogers)

Congratulations to UCF for being the Worst Football team in Division 1-A. It's good to know that Florida's highest paid coaching staff (Yes... more than FSU's) can't even get a win. Great to know my tuition increase was spent wisely.

Best $30 I'm ever gonna spend: Hollywood is Calling

So what the fuck is wrong with Blue Eagle 3 and White Dragon? Neither of those assholes have posted in like a month. I give you guys one week... or I cut you off. No more livin in the lap of luxury for you guys.


And finally... Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox for actually winning. Now hopefully, they'll remember there's still a World Series to play.



Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I Really Really Hate The Yankees

As we prepare for Game 7... let me take this time to thank God for actually letting the Sox make it to Game 7. But as usual... now that I'm rooting for them... expect them to lose.

With that said... let's have a lil Arod party!

Check out this play from Game 6:
"Arod out on Interference"

Muahahahaha... what a mammoth homosexual! (Not that there's anything wrong with that) Let's look at more Gayrod!










Wow... If that doesn't out him... I don't know what does. I love his reaction. Muahahahha

To make that play worse... listen to the Yankee radio call of that play. "Arod gets robbed!" (Link is fixed now)

And then you wonder why there was almost a riot? What Yankee Shills.... it's disgusting.

I will never ever root for them again! (Lord, forgive me for my 1996 sins)



Thursday, October 14, 2004

I'm Strictly Business Just Like EPMD...



Two choruses that I can't get out of my head right now:

Fabolous - Keepin it Gangsta Part II: G-A-N-G-S-T-A, that's how it be when you see me!
Jin (feat. Kanye West) - I Got A Love: I got a love that's better than YOU EVER WAS!


Damn, Pedro... looks like the good luck is running out.


It's about friggin time! Someone has finally listened to me, and broguth back B.A. Baracas. The A-Team movie has arrived. But they better make it right... not like this bullshit.


The best thing I came across was an article in Hot Karl's blog, that literally had me rolling. R. Kelly's Best Of Both Worlds Tour is described... and some things may shock you!


While looking for anything to post, I came across this from my old site:
I'm pretty sure all of you have played Kings Cup (the drinking game)once in your life time. Well, the boys here at The Fine Print have a friend living in Gainesville, that we call Karl Malone. One drunken night we said "fuck the rules", and came up with our own game. Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for the one, the only, Karl Malone Game! (cue theme music) Bascically, you take Kings Cup, and completely fuck up the card values. Here is what each card now means:

2 - The person across from you drinks
3 - Blue Eagle Drinks
4 - You're a whore, drink 4!
5 - Staying Alive, Drink 5!
6 - Sucking Dicks, give out 6!
7 - Upside Down Drink (Put drink behind your back and tween the legs... good luck)
8 - "Masturbate!" (Simulate masturbation, and whoever gets jizzed on drinks, haha)
9 - "9...Waterfall til you blow your mind!"
10 - Forehead Master! (You are now the thumbmaster, except with your forehead... OUCH!)
J - "You're a Mack, give 10 back!"
Q - "You're a Queen, drink 15!"
K - Karl Malone Drinks
A - Steveweiser (if cans) or Rule (bottles)
Joker - DPJ (that's me) Drinks 10 (For some reason, my deck has 4 jokers)

And finally... shout out to Nico at Medianoose. He showed The Fine Print some love when he came upon us during what he calls "BlogNurfing" . You can find his site on the links portion. Thanx for the support, man.




Monday, October 11, 2004

When I first met you, I admit my first thoughts was to trick...

(See these Ice Cubes....)

I dont know whether to laugh at this video or get mad that these guys have a video. It's from the Firemen, whome consist of Teck Money (TheGuy from Real World), 4-Ize (Disturbing Tha Peace), and Kahlil Gibran (of The Sixsense Foundation). But they right... white men do love them some tig bitties.


If you can't find the word "dumbass" in your dictionary... don't worry, I've got the definition right here.


34 never looked good on you anyway, dude.


Anybody remember my very first post in which I said I would watch Envy and Gigli. I finally did it.... well sorta. See... Envy was soooooo bad that I never made it through it. I tried three times, and each time I found myself asleep in less than 15 minutes. Now that's fuckin bad. I'm the fuckin guy who loved Cruel Intentions 2... so if I can't stay awake during the shit... yikes! And Gigli... what can I say about Gigli that's any good?
J-Lo is unbelievably hot in this movie. And not only that, but she's lesbo! To make you think this movie is good, Al Pacino is in it as some crazy asshole and there's a rain-man like retard. However, its not so funny... but it's definitely weird enough for you to enjoy it and not be pissed off.


It's days like today (when I'm bored as hell), that I really wish that Blue Eagle hadn't erased his homeade porn....


RIP, Kal-El (aka Christopher Reeve)

Saturday, October 09, 2004

I Can Exercise You, This Can Be Your Phys Ed



Upgrade time and we're here to stay bitches!. As you can see, the Fine Print has a new layout and I want to know what you all think. If it sucks... leave a comment. If it's jumpin off with some hotness... let me know. I love to hear from all the wanna-be Donkey Punchers out there. Ok...Ok.... here we go:


The next party will definitely have some Pac-Man action goin on. ( I really love that movie, btw)


The Governor of California was was one lucky fucker back in his day. No fair... I want to cum all day! (Thanx Ebaum)


I plan on getting tickets to 3 Magic games this year, when tickets go on sale, Monday. The 2 Knicks games, and the one Denver game. These are the seats I want... I'm a get em... no doubt!


Man... Nelly really pisses me off. All this publicity and dude gets a big head. You ain't special, Nelly... make it a double-CD like everyone else! I hate him... I really do.


Einhorn, Finkle... Finkle, Einhorn... (My favorite story of the week, thanks to Hot Karl )


So the NBC show "Last Comic Standing" got cancelled with one episode left. Yeah, the live episode where the comedians find out who won. The show sucks... but that's fucked up! (Now NBC has caved and will tape a finaly episode)




Seperated at birth?



Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Yes.... That's Lil Jon

(Am I allowed to say something about those lips?)

Announcing a new link on the sidebar... HOT KARL'S BLOG. Dude had my favorite song on NBA Live 2003 Soundtrack, "Blao", and he's a Met fan to boot. Good shit! Between him and Pickin Boogers, you guys should know everything true about Hip-hop. Now on to the posts...


Wow... thanx to Pickin Boogers for pointing this out. I'm still in shock. Gay-ass Willie on the Real World is Hector from the PBS Show, Ghostwriter! I need to start watching the show more.... how come I never noticed that?

Speaking of never noticing... I feel like a dick for not realizing that there are two "TV houses" on my block as we speak. In less than a mile in each direction I have the WB's Big Man On Campus house, and the other way I've got the VoyeurDorm. God-damnit! I need to bonin the broads around here more

Everyone keeps talking about Howard Stern's move to satellite in 2006.. It's great that he'll be uncensored and all, but does anyone remember his Pay-Per-View special a few years ago? That shit wasn't funny.... it was just crazy.


Ok... Movie Preview Time:

Blade Trinity: Trailer Looks like Darkness got himself a goatee. Not so sure If I can like it since it has Van Wilder and Jessica Biel (Who I will hate til she fuckin takes it off!)

Seed of Chucky: Trailer Goddamn! When will it end? Chucky's still a funny bastard, but this shit has got to end someday. They're driving his ass into the ground. Redman's even in the shit! I'd definitely bone Jeniffer Tilly though.

Batman Begins: Trailer You know, I really hated that they made the douche bag from Shaft & American Pshyco Batman, but maybe he's just psycho enough to pull this shit off. We will see, citizens!


RIP Rodney....



The man w/ the one liners. Damn... him and Don Rickles will always be my two favorite old-timers.

Here's some lines in remembrance:

Ladybugs (1992) - "My name is Chester, I'm great, I'm wonderful! Everybody likes me!" (Another man replies: "Hey, Chester. My name is Harlin, and to me you look like a giant asshole.") "Well, if I'm an asshole then I've got a reason. You're contagious!"

"We have a chance. Like a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest."


Back to School (1986) - "Are you fat? When you go jogging, do you leave potholes? When you make love, do you have to give directions? At the zoo, do the elephants throw you peanuts? Do you look at a menu and say 'OK!'? "

"Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes. "

"What's your favorite subject?" (Girl answers: "Poetry") "Well then maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow!" <--- Always a classic


Caddyshack (1980) - "Fore! [then accidentally hitting Judge Smails in the crotch with his golf ball] Oh, I should have yelled 'two'."

"Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity."

"He called me a baboon, he thinks I'm his wife. "




You'll be missed my man. - DPJ

Monday, October 04, 2004

You Can't Beat What You Can't Catch

B-E-N-T-L-E-Y

Yes, NBA Live 2005 is fuckin sick wit it! The Slam Dunk Contest could be a game all to itself. But don't think you have game like me, crackheads.... come talk when you can do the combinations for between the legs twice or a 720° dunk. Then maybe I'll have a lil competition.


Check out Blue Eagle's audition for a role in the new Chuck Norris movie: Motherfucka needs some practice. ( Thanx Ebaum )


Eminem's new song "Just Lose It" is garbage. But I guess that's what you gotta expect from the one white boy with skills, but whose label always makes him write gay songs for pop radio.


Aren't we always happy to see our Grandmama? I know I am


White Dragon's been asking a lot of questions about what puberty will be, so I decided to give him some facts.


Guess who else hates Barry Bonds? Gary Sheffield

And finally.... you gotta hand it to the Asians. They decided that if there's one thing in life we all need to master it should be Mario


(Sorry so short)